Miss Manners: Neighbors are more like strangers

Dear Miss MANNERS: I was devastated to learn yesterday that my neighbors young son had died. I don’t know these neighbors well. Our children are the same age but attended different schools and rarely played together. I watched this young man grow up, but mostly through my window. I happened to wake up late at night and saw my parents coming back from the hospital. I considered approaching them and asking if they would like to come to my house for some space before going home to their younger children, but decided that would most likely be intrusive. Besides sending a sympathy card, what should I do to be kind to them rather than drawing attention to myself?

GENTLE READER: Gently ask if they need help with the kids. Reassure them that they and the whole family are welcome at your home anytime. Miss Manners isn’t sure they’ll take it, but it’s a kind gesture and something they might appreciate and find useful in the future.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email address, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)