The anniversary of Pat Lamb’s death after a night out in Maidstone prompts the family to warn of the dangers of open water

Ten years ago, 28-year-old Pat Lamb went into Maidstone town center with his mates – a night when, tragically, he never made it home.

Now, on the anniversary of his passing, his sister is speaking out about the hole left in the lives of loved ones as she urges others to be safe during the Christmas festivities…

00.20 Saturday 13 December 2014 – this was the last sighting of Pat Lamb, a young man from Greenhithe who like many other lads his age had just gone out for a few beers.

The 28-year-old had booked into the Grange Moor Hotel in Maidstone and sat down for a few drinks with friends before they hit the town.

But as the night wore on, the broadcast engineer separated himself from the group and was caught on CCTV wandering the streets alone.

Just after midnight, a grainy image showed him walking towards Fairmeadow, where he climbed some steps to the banks of the River Medway – the last time he was seen.

His disappearance sparked a massive search by friends, family and strangers who joined forces, tracking possible apparitions in the county.

Among those spearheading the effort to find Pat was his sister Zoe, who had just returned from university and was staying with her brother in London when she heard of his disappearance.

She said: “I remember my dad calling me and saying Pat hadn’t come home – he hadn’t come to his hotel and everyone was a bit worried.

“They haven’t heard from him and he wasn’t answering the phone. I remember, and it still haunts me today, getting into my dad’s car, the first thing I said was “is there a river in Maidstone?”.

“I look back on it and think ‘why did I say that?’ But my father answered and said, “Yes, a very big one.”

Volunteers from Kent Search and Rescue (KSAR) spent 1,000 hours following possible leads, specialist police divers scoured the River Medway and a reconstruction video was released, retracing their steps on that fateful night.

Missing person posters were plastered all over the city and the community came together to share the appeal, with 40,000 people joining a Facebook group to find Pat.

Allington Lock near Maidstone, woodland near the M2 motorway service station at Gillingham and Canterbury city center were all under the spotlight.

Zoe, now 30, recalled: “It was awful. It was very difficult. I don’t think our Christmas presents were opened. Mom waited at home and hoped he would show up.

“Everyone was celebrating and I was out on the streets looking for him and putting up missing posters.

“It was really hard to wrap your head around when you’re listening to Christmas songs about how happy and joyous and great the time is, and you’re in this period of ‘what’s going on, where’s my brother?’

“Christmas was supposed to be spent with my family, coming home from university for the break. Instead, we spent it wandering the streets, rummaging in industrial bins.”

Then on Saturday, January 10, after a month of relentless searching, Pat’s family got the news everyone was dreading.

He was found in the water at Cuxton Marina and was identified by his clothing, phone, wallet and bank cards.

A the inquest heard he died from drowningthat is, he could have drowned or suffered a cardiac arrest from the shock of entering the cold water.

An outpouring of grief followed the devastating news, with floral tributes laid along the river in Maidstone and crowds gathered in Mote Park where candles were lit and 500 helium balloons were released.

Zoe said: “I remember sitting on the living room floor and crying and reading all these messages.

“I read every one of them. They were really nice and it showed that (what happened) really touched people.

“After ten years, I still have so much space in my heart and want to thank the strangers who have offered support, offered kind words and helped raise awareness by sharing Pat’s missing poster. We all hoped for a better outcome, but unfortunately life doesn’t always work out the way we hope.”

Zoe now hopes that sharing what happened to her brother could prevent other families from going through the same heartache.

She said: “I think it’s essential to raise awareness of how we can look after each other when we’re out and about.

“It’s about keeping an eye on others and noticing if someone is too drunk. In these situations, it is usually better and safer for everyone to get them in a taxi.

“However, personal responsibility is the most important factor. Friends can only do so much in an evening.

“It’s essential to check in with yourself, be aware of your limits and pace yourself if you plan to stay out overnight. If you can’t walk straight, your chances of getting home safely are very slim, yet people still think it’s a good idea or an “adventure” to walk home instead of taking a taxi.

“He does not deserve the absolute trauma and heartache that myself, his loved ones and his family have had to go through over the last 10 years. It’s horrible and I don’t want this to happen to another family.

“So much went wrong so quickly for my brother – he took a turn too early which took him down the river path.

“Unfortunately the water that night, being winter, was at the same level as the river path and it wasn’t lit so he didn’t stand a chance.

“And that’s how quickly things can change. If he hadn’t taken that turn and walked over the bridge to the hotel, he’d probably still be here today.

“It’s so sad for a 28-year-old to lose his life – he’s so young, his life is just beginning.”

Since Pat’s untimely death, KSAR has launched an annual safety campaign. Young men in particular are being urged to keep an extra eye out for their drinking buddies this time of year and to stay away from water.

Now in its seventh year, Operation Safe and Dry will run throughout the 2024/25 festive season, with teams patrolling around Maidstone’s River Medway from late evening until the early hours. It is supported by the fire brigade, police and coast guard.

KSAR Head of Unit Martin Kingman said: “Out of the tragedies came the idea to run a proactive campaign to raise awareness and ensure public safety around dangerous waters which seem to attract mainly young men at the end of a night out.

“We’re urging all revelers to make sure they don’t go home alone and get together to make sure everyone gets home safe and dry for Christmas.”

Reflecting on life without Pat, Zoe said: “The night is the hardest part. Around midnight to 1am I’ll get upset because I know that’s unfortunately when he died.

“You put yourself in his shoes through what he went through and what he lived through. Not a day goes by that you don’t think about him. As time goes on your pain doesn’t lessen but I think you just learn to move with it and it’s always there but you just work around it.

“No one will ever know the extent of what happened that night and to be honest it’s something I try not to dwell on.

“Instead, I focus on how lucky I was to have him in my life and to call him my brother. I was only 20 when he died and I wish I had more time with him as an adult. Even 10 years later, not a day goes by without him crossing my mind, and I’m sure his loved ones feel the same way.

“You live knowing that there’s this kind of hole — that there’s meant to be someone here who isn’t. You feel so cheated that their life was cut short – he was 28 when he died.

“When I turned 29, it was very hard to realize that you are now older than your older brother.

“You think about all these family moments that happened that you know he wasn’t there for.

“The beautiful grandsons he met are now teenagers and he has two new grandsons and a granddaughter, one of whom is named Riley Patrick.

“I met my partner a year after Pat died. Now we are getting married and I will always feel sad that she never had the chance to meet Pat. Yet, without knowing him, he keeps his spirit alive for me. We raise a glass and thank you for showing us how beautiful and precious life is.

“However, amid the sadness, there was some solace. I am still in touch with the kind person who found my brother and stayed with him until the police arrived. Every year we catch up, and she’s a good, pure soul to remember Pat’s family, even after so much time has passed.”

Pat’s brother Jamie added: ‘At the time Pat went missing, my two-year-old son was also in and out of hospital battling cancer.

“Pat was a huge lifeline for us – he drove us to and from the hospital and was there for us whenever we needed him, and then suddenly he was gone. We felt like we lost this huge part of our support system at a time when we needed all the support we could get.

“So the anniversary is always a difficult time because it brings up a lot of emotion from that awful moment. Harry beat cancer after Pat died and we just wish he was here to see his grandson and the wonderful pre-teen he’s turned into.

“I’m celebrating with a Guinness, to commemorate his life and the real big brother he was to me.”